I, unlike my older siblings and cousins, was very indecisive when it came to choosing my career and what not. They all knew what they wanted to do in the future by the age of 16 however I still did not know what I wanted to study by the age of 18. It is slightly harder when you have family members pressuring you with their suggestions and pressure to pluck a career out of the thin air and work hard towards that career for years. It is even more annoying when you are considered as the "Geek" or "Nerdy" student in some of your classes and how they seemed to think that I will become the world's smartest lawyer or doctor or something. You could be the smartest person in the country but that does not mean that you will pursue something academic or even go to university. Truthfully I am not the smartest person, I just had a good work ethic and I have failed pieces of work even after spending some much time on it.
Anyway even when year 12 had ended, I had not decided what I wanted to do at University. I knew what A-Levels I wanted to do however I had no idea what I wanted to study at University. Most of my friends knew and my other friends were not going to uni at all so I felt a bit abnormal and left out in some ways. I have always known that I wanted to go to uni. But that was the most frustrating part because that is the main reason why people go to uni obviously - to study. So during year 12 I attended as many open days I could possibly go to and did loads of research in to courses that I thought was intriguing like Criminology, History, Psychology and Ecomonics. Yet you have probably guessed it that none of them appealed to me.
One day towards the end of year 12, I was in lesson with my friend who was looking to study Law, she asked what course I was going to study at uni. I told her that I did not know and that I was worried. She said that she thought I was studying Law and in a weird and sort of dramatic way it hit me! LAW! I loved debates, looking for evidence and flaws in other people's arguments. I was quite a self-disciplined student who had a strong work ethic (don't mean to be rude and arrogant by any means!) I asked one of the teachers that I got along with very well to be my reference writer and throughout the summer holidays I did tonnes of reseacrh in to Law and I honestly felt like this is what I wanted to study at University. It was not simple as that don't get me wrong, I did so much research and I still was not 100% sure but I had a good feeling about it and sometimes that's all you are left with at the end of the day. My school did not offer Law and an A-Level so I did not have a "taster" but I attended a lot of uni open days after my AS exams and went to the Law departments specifically. Thankfully my AS results were pretty decent so there was a chance that I would get in to a good University - not Oxbridge though.
Now year 13 has passed - the most stressful year I have ever had - I do not know how to feel. I have done all my exams and I have finished my time at school now. I tried my best and I know I am my own worst enemy because I look back at times and wished I tried harder at my exams. I am anxious about results day and getting in to the university I really want to go to! I am sitting at home doing nothing most days, looking for a job and trying to write more blog posts. Next month I will be undertaking work experience in Central London which I am hugely grateful for! I was able to get it through family connections which I might write a blog post about. Back to my point, I am going to try and spend time with people that I love and care about because I have plenty of time on my hands. I receently went to Birmingham for a night out with my cousin and her friends which gave me a taster of university nightlife.
School has been at the centre of my life since I was born. I feel passionate about it and I enjoy it. I don't feel ashamed to say that because I do. It feels weird that I have finished school even though I am going uni. Uni is completely different though. I just want to use my time wisely which is easier said than done. I am going to try and write more blog posts about things and life. I want to write more meaningful blogs very soon because I find it theraputic.
I have no idea how to end this oh well x